


Enough

by Peter_Prker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Trailer, F/M, Goodbyes, Help, Hugs, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Pls dont die peter holy shit, Sad, Tears, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter_Prker/pseuds/Peter_Prker
Summary: Peter visits you to say goodbye before the war, but you just can't let him go.





	Enough

It was in the late afternoon on a Friday at the end of September when you’d walked in on Peter in his Spider-Man suit. He’d been climbing through the window of his room, mask in hand and you’d almost mistaken it as a really dedicated cosplay before he’d shot a web from his wrist and pulled the half empty water bottle from his desk into his hand. You’d stood gaping in the doorway for a moment before he looked up and noticed you there. 

 

To his credit he tried denying for a minute more, pressing the spider emblem on his chest so the suit would slide off his body leaving him in nothing but boxers and sputtering a moment before pulling you into the room, closing the door and making you swear not to tell a soul. 

 

Six months later and you could still hardly believe that your best friend was the Spider-Maniac swinging around Queens, barely getting through a week without at least one attempt at his life.

 

Of course you kept your promise and never uttered a word to anyone but Ned who’d experienced a similar reveal as you did and MJ who’d just figured it out more or less. You had some concerns with Peter’s activities as any friend would after he’d climbed through your window a number of times bloody and bruised- really, he was barely sixteen- but you only voiced your concerns to MJ, knowing Ned wouldn’t be able to hold his tongue and you’d get yet another lecture from Peter about how  _ I have to watch out for the little guy _ . 

 

And  _ fine _ you understood and you’d accepted it for the most part until he appeared in your room on Saturday morning, grim faced and bleary. Until he told you he was going to fight a war he very well might not return from.

 

You laughed at him then. ‘April Fools is over, Pete,’ 

 

‘It’s not a joke.’ He took a deep breath and your heart dropped impressively. You set down the pen you’d been writing with and swiveled your desk chair around.

 

‘A war?’ You rubbed your now sweaty hands on your leggings, trying in vain to dry them.

 

‘Yeah,’ He croaked.

 

‘You’re sixteen,’ You balked at the thought. ‘You can’t- you can’t  _ go to war _ .’ 

 

Peter shook his head, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It had just gotten warm enough to go out without a coat on and he’d donned a simple navy blue tee- one you’d bought him. 

 

‘Aunt May?’

 

‘She doesn’t know,’ Peter struggled to keep his voice void of any emotion, but he looked up at you, his eyes pleading. ‘You can’t tell her.’ 

 

‘Why not?’ You pushed off from your chair, crossing your arms across your chest. ‘If you’re worried she’ll stop you, I’ll personally deliver the news right now.’ 

 

Peter’s brows furrowed. You both knew it was a lie, but that didn’t stop the hurt that flashed across his face. ‘Y/N,’ 

 

It was your turn to shake your head. ‘You can’t expect me to be okay with this.’

 

‘I’m not,’ He took a tentative step towards you and you forced yourself to stand still, the only other options being turning away from him or pulling him into a bone crushing hug- neither of which you could stand. ‘But you can’t stop me, either.’

 

‘The hell I can’t,’ 

 

‘They need me, Y/N,’ He approached you further, now reaching for your hand and you let him take it. He fiddled with your fingers. 

 

‘We need you.’ You gripped his hand, causing him to glance up at you. His brown eyes were wide and filled to the brim with sadness. Sadness and determination. You couldn’t place the thought. Peter was going to war. Sweet, excitable, nerdy,  _ beautiful _ Peter was going to war and he might not come back. ‘ _ I  _ need you.’ The truth tasted bitter on your tongue.

 

Peter’s brows furrowed for barely a moment before he pulled you into a hug, crushing every molecule of air between you two. You hesitated- if you held him you were afraid you might not be able to let him go- before your arms wrapped around his waist, fists balled within the fabric of his shirt. He smelled like deodorant and faintly of oranges- a smell you could never explain and he could never get rid of no matter how hard he tried,  _ ‘I hate oranges,’ _ \- and you felt yourself pressing closer, breathing him in deeper because maybe,  _ just maybe,  _ this was the last time. 

 

Peter’s arms were wrapped around your shoulders, one hand tangled in your hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. You pulled away slowly, just enough to look in his eyes,  _ brown brown brown _ . His nose brushed your own and his breath fanned across your face. You gulped. 

 

‘Y/N,’ his breath was minty and his eyes were so  _ brown brown brown. _ You’d read somewhere once that when you loved someone with brown eyes, the word itself couldn’t describe them any longer, that they weren’t  _ just _ brown. But you didn’t think there was anything wrong with  _ just brown _ , you found beauty in the simplicity of it. 

 

His nose brushed your cheek and you squeezed your eyes shut. Tears burned behind your eyelids.  _ Peter. _

 

‘I…’ He took a deep breath, pressing harder against you. ‘I want to-’ He unfurled one arm from your shoulders, bringing it to the side of your face. His thumb ran back and forth so light you almost thought you’d imagined it. You peeked through you eyelids, eyes welling with tears at the sight of Peter’s red-rimmed ones and forlorn expression. His gaze flitted between your eyes and you knew it was coming, you knew it was coming but you didn’t know.  _ Brown brown brown. _

 

His lips brushed against yours before you had the good sense to jerk away, ejecting yourself from his arms. He ran his hands through his hair before letting them fall to his face and groaning. ‘I’m sorry,’ 

 

‘No,’ You said, grabbing his wrists and pulling his hands away from his face. ‘No, I’m not- I  _ want _ to kiss you Peter,  _ god _ , I want to but I- we can’t.’ 

 

‘You’re right,’ his voice cracked on the word and he cleared his throat. ‘You’re right,’ His hands fell from where they were hanging in front of him, you let your own slip from his wrists to intertwine your fingers.

 

You felt an apology tugging at you, but for what? For not making this harder than it had to be? Peter always said you apologized too much, it was after you’d said it for accidentally brushing your hand against his that he’d finally told you for the first time.  _ ‘Stop apologizing all the time,’ _ He’d shot you a grin then, like he always did. 

 

You felt a sudden yearning for his smile, it was sharp and insistent and the words were out of your mouth before you could blink. ‘Smile at me,’

 

‘What?’ His eyes were still red with unshed tears and it was silly, how could he smile now, but-

 

‘Please,’ you said. ‘Just, one more time.’

 

The corners of his lips lifted upwards in a half-hearted attempt, but it was enough. 

 

He smiled and it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave a kudos and a comment!
> 
> Also check out my tumblr @booksandstuff55 where I post memes and writings k thx (shameless promotion but im lonely)


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